hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
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