you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Let's get the cat blown out
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
