your parents love me but you hate me
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
The uberlube is also flammable
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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