i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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