carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Randomize
