Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Randomize
