I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
