Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
