I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
