So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
