So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
