he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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