wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
