she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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