Midget sex pt 2 tonight
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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