Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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