So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The beer is more important than you right now.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
