Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
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