how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize