it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize