wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
