Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
