Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(714): View more from California

im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF

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(765): View more from Indiana

how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.

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(205): View more from Alabama

I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away

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(919): View more from North Carolina

The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.

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(518): View more from New York

i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?

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(360): View more from Washington

You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.

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(419): View more from Ohio

I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals

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(937): View more from Ohio

and eventually we just all took our pants off

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