Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
