I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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