I think im going to throw up on grandma
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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