i just wanna soil my oats bro
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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