i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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