Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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