Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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