You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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