What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm passing your future prison.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
