yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Randomize
