You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
