my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
so much tequila, so little girl.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
