I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
