I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
