We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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