Don't you send me to vm
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
should my penis look like a turkey
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I love you.
Bad choice
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
