I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We have started to decorate penises.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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