please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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