Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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