it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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