xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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