Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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