At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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