i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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