it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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