found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
