You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
