And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
