Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
