how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
