apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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