If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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