So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
