How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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