Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
