I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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