my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
