Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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